BOTTOM OF THE BARREL
I am at the bottom of a lake.
I look up and see my fate.
All the thought of bubbles escaped.
Becoming the hope that once faded away.
Maybe, you won’t like what comes to the surface first?
The stones that were once pumice…
Are now somehow as concrete as the words that cannot leave me.
Eyes opened.
Underwater.
As my lungs fill with happenstance.
The victim is but a delicate dance.
I must not move on chance.
Something more sinister could advance.
I am at the bottom of a lake.
Where all the rope could just swing…
Me into you.
You into me.
I see all of who is in the air.
What really happened?
Why couldn’t I just leave there?
The victim is just a delicate dance.
It most certainly isn’t a sway.
It is everything that washed away all else before that day.
While the word of ‘forgiveness’ is paraded around on…
A ferry that carries all of my dreams away.
I see I am so sunken in.
The drug and drunk spins…
Led me directly to who I was back then.
I am at the bottom of a lake.
In a barrel weighted down by my past mistakes.
I can not stretch my body.
I have stretched my mind.
The only thing that is only truly mine to strengthen.
Anyways…
Recalling my childhood and my favorite book.
This barrel is rocked upon a distant memory.
Has anyone found me?
Did I find me?
My naivety must be at it again…
As it always has a way of doing me in.
I suppose long ago…
Bottom of the barrel, “me.”
Released the vision of becoming Edmund…
It is just me at the surface.
In the midst of isolation…
I learned I am only patient.
Not vengeful.
I left vengeance long ago at the bottom of a lake.
Accompanied alongside my misery.
My body contorted to the distortion of anyone else’s reality.
I ask myself...
Who am I after all of that?
Now all I have is my delicate dance.
I am absolutely no Dantes.
I am the fluid of every eye escaping the thoughts of…
There is no where to go from here.
Where every clamor of the word, “disappear…”
Fades off.
I am just simply here to remind you…
The only way out is up.
I want to listen to you tell me all the clues of how to find you again.
Maybe even become someone new?
I want nothing more than to give you some of my Faith.
Even when you ignored your instincts.
Even when you were at your most vulnerable.
Even when you felt completely scorned.
You were meant to be.
I want wholeheartedly for you to just be.
You will be everything you can once again.
You will be so much more than your healing.
The only vengeance necessary is to rid yourself from toxicity.
Know that the Universe will show us exactly…
That:
We could never touch its creativity.
In the sense we are just to be dancing.
Right where we are while being who we are…
In our totality.
We, my friend…
Are the examples of a rath on a raft…
So that even bottom of the barrel, ‘we…’
Can carry one another joyfully.
