WILT WITH GUILT

I learned the hard way.

Noone should fall in love so quickly.

Not to plan a future without knowing someone’s history.

I take things slow now.

Not just limiting myself to romantic inquiry.

I do not want to know anyone more than I know myself.

I know myself just enough.

The insight of…

My heart being pulled from my chest.

I know me best.

I know me best.

The inspiration of it all is that I do not love in the same.

A lesson upon lessons of heartbreak.

There are the people that live among us...

That will just be satiated by just knowing a body.

I am only mentioning this because if you are that somebody…

This…

This…

Piece just isn’t for you.

How much time have I so freely given on the promise of forever?

While I live in the land where only ‘never’ remains.

I wore my shame like a household name.

The recoil in the redundancy of it all…

Knocks out all of my teeth.

Best friends forever.

I will love you forever.

The absurdity of it.

I still only try to smile.

I cannot help but to feel at times that the past is where all my love went.

Wouldn’t all just love that notion?

That I am incapable of devotion?

When that is absolutely the furthest thing from true.

I one day accepted the realization that my love is just as pressing…

As an idea that has yet to see the light.

The idea does not die.

It beckons daily from the furthest of corners in my mind.

It calls me back home in the middle of the night.

So, please do not confuse my cries with a lack of tries.

I have in fact…

Always tried.

Overestimated and oversimplified.

Overwhelmingly…

Overstood of all of my oversights.

All in all, I have realized…

This has ever so slowly become the mastery of the deepest sighs.

And of course…

The sorrow in goodbyes.